youtube_lyricsfandomcom-20200214-history
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(0:02.6) May I have your attention, please? (0:04.7) (0:05.4) May I have your attention, please? (0:07.6) (0:08.4) Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? (0:11.1) (0:12) I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? (0:16) We're gonna have a problem here... (0:18) Y'all act like you never seen a white person before (0:20) Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door (0:23) And started whoopin' her ass worse than before (0:25) They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!) (0:27) It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding (0:30) He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" (0:32) And Dr. Dre said… (0:33.4) nothing, you idiots! (0:34) Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!) (0:36) Feminist women love Eminem (0:38) "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him (0:41) Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what (0:43) Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though." (0:45) Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose (0:48) But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms (0:50) Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose (0:53) But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose (0:55) "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" (0:57) And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss (0:59) And that's the message that we deliver to little kids (1:01) And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is (1:04) Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is (1:06) By the time they hit fourth grade (1:07) They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they? (1:09) We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals (1:12) Who cut other people open like cantaloupes (1:13) But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes (1:15) Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (1:18) But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote (1:20) Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes— (1:22) I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (1:24) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (1:27) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (1:29) Please stand up, please stand up? (1:31) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (1:34) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (1:36) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (1:38) Please stand up, please stand up? (1:40) Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (1:43) Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! (1:45) You think I give a damn about a Grammy? (1:47) Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me (1:50) "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" (1:52) Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here? (1:54) So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears? (1:56) Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs (1:59) So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst (2:01) And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first (2:03) Little bitch put me on blast on MTV (2:06) "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee." (2:08) I should download her audio on MP3 (2:10) And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (2:12) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups (2:15) All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you (2:17) And there's a million of us just like me (2:19) Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me (2:22) Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me (2:24) And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me (2:27) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (2:29) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (2:31) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (2:33) Please stand up, please stand up? (2:36) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (2:38) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (2:40) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (2:42) Please stand up, please stand up? (2:45) I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' you (2:47) Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room (2:50) The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all (2:52) And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all (2:55) I just get on the mic and spit it (2:56) And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it (2:59) Better than 90% of you rappers out can (3:01) Then you wonder: "How can Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?" (3:03) It's funny, ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30 (3:05) I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting (3:08) Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens (3:10) And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working (3:12) And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking (3:15) He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings (3:17) Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!" (3:20) With his windows down and his system up (3:22) So will the real Shady please stand up (3:24) And put one of those fingers on each hand up? (3:26) And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control (3:28) And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? (3:31) I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (3:33) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (3:36) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (3:38) Please stand up, please stand up? (3:40) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (3:42) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (3:44) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (3:47) Please stand up, please stand up? (3:49) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (3:51) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (3:54) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (3:56) Please stand up, please stand up? (3:58) 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady (4:00) All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating (4:03) So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up (4:05) Please stand up, please stand up? (4:08.2) (4:09) Ha ha, (4:09.6) I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us (4:12.5) (4:14) Fuck it, (4:14.8) (4:16.0) let’s all stand up! (4:17)